


Stains

by Cas_203



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Dean Winchester Is Trying, Drabble, Gen, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Self Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12204606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_203/pseuds/Cas_203
Summary: The truth.... All they had was the truth.





	Stains

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, my lovely Pineapples.
> 
> Please, pay attention to the tags. Although nothing is heavily described, I'm well aware even the slightest thing can be triggering. Just take care of yourselves, alright? Please.
> 
> I don't own Supernatural, by the way. Promise.

 

"Sammy."

Silence.

"Dude, talk to me."

Silence still.

"I'm not mad."

There's a laugh now- a bitter, choked laugh filled with disdain.

"Don't lie. You are mad. You couldn't not be mad." And the boy raises his hands, clutching his wet, blood red sleeves while wiping at the tears leaking out of his eyes.

Dean can't remember the last time Sam cried.

"C'mon man, you know I'm not mad."

And the man (more like boy, eighteen didn't give you a passage straight into adulthood) swallows here, like the next words are physically hard to get out.

"I'm scared."

The silence comes back, and Dean's frustrated. All he has to offer is the truth, and he's not sure that the truth is enough this time.

Can the truth erase the Crimson growing on his brothers arms?

"Sammy, please. I just want to know why. Just tell me why?"

And that damn silence, Deans apparent ever present companion, it comes back to reign.

But then Dean figures it out.

"I won't tell dad, if you want. I won't tell dad."

And that hurts, fricking kills Dean, that Sam's afraid of their father; a man who was supposed to have raised them and protected them and loved them; a man Sam should be able to tell anything to.

But then it clicks that their father did none of those things (Hell, how blind has he been?), rather he just pushed and pushed and pushed until they had no choice but to give.

So he whispers,  
"And we won't talk about it again, if you don't want to,"

Because Dean was a coward, and avoidance was always the Winchester way.

Sam takes a shuddering breath now, refusing to meet his brothers eyes (his hopes eyes) as he tells him the truth ('cause he's left with only the truth as well).

"Because I'm not clean."

**And that was when Dean lost his faith in God.**


End file.
